You can heal old memories of bad things that happened to you & old memories of when you reacted badly by applying Agape love. Let me explain….
First, a brief & quick reminder, from 1 Corinthians 13:
4 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NKJV
So here’s how I do it, I expect this can work well for you, too. (I’d love to hear about your experience with this so I can learn.)
I think of a memory that is painful. First, one where I responded poorly. Then I review 1 Cor. 13:4-7. I see where I reacted without Agape love. I make a new decision, and choose to respond with Agape love, the God, generous kind of love. I choose to respond with Agape qualities in the future. That’s not only a new decision, that’s repentance.
I mentally rehearse or practice having done that. Two or three times if necessary; though once will often be quite enough.
I check to see if my memory of that bad or painful memory is different or better. It usually is.
Then I do this again with a different memory, where I may not have reacted badly, but where I still did not respond with Agape love. I make a new and better decision, with the help of Jesus (which I ask for). A decision to respond with Agape love. Generously. Lovingly. The God-kind of love.
Afterwards, I again check the old memory, am I doing better now when I remember it?
Usually my own response to an event makes a huge difference in how painful the memory is or isn’t.
If I have trouble succeeding with this, I again ask Jesus, who is always near, always at hand (like his Kingdom) – within reaching distance – to help. And I ask for and receive by faith, more of Holy Spirit. I may not feel anything, but I notice I respond differently and can choose Agape love more easily and more deeply.
Let me know how you do with this, I’d love to know!
P.S. Teach this to someone else, maybe by walking them through it. Jesus and the Jesus kind of love can minister to them, too!